Personal Experiences of Homophobia

Speak about your experiences of homophobia, and help us raise awareness of what truly happens.

Below are some of the experiences people have already told us about. They don't make for pleasant reading, but they bring to light the pain, fear and trauma that many people have to go through, whether it's day-to-day bullying or vicious assault. Opinions and statements are those of their respective authors and not of OUTeverywhere.

If you would like to help break the silence surrounding homophobia and tell us your story, please email . We'll be happy to hear from you, and if you wish your experience to remain anonymous, it can.

Philip R: "Whilst giving a guy I was on a date with, a first date in fact, a hug on the platform of an underground station, a guy hurled a torrent of homophobic abuse at us, 'you deserve to die of AIDS' etc. Whilst we initially ignored him, when he spat at us, I cracked." Read more...
Nathan K: "Growing up in the USA, my parents have adopted a very religious way of thinking. My father is amongst the most traditional Protestants you will ever meet; my mother, an extremely devout Catholic. Needless to say, I feared from an early age that coming out to my parents would not be an easy task. I remember that when I finally did, my fears proved to be justified." Read more...
Anonymous: "When I was at school, I suffered a lot of verbal and physical abuse due to my sexuality. I would have people shouting down the corridor 'F@*#ing queer faggot' etc. It all rooted from suspicions people had of my sexuality, but I could tolerate it, as they had no proof. However, when I was 15, I thought it was the right thing to be honest and tell my friend I was gay." Read more...
Simon: "I live in North Manchester, and I've been subjected to homophobic abuse on the streets near where I live on many occasions. The first time was four years ago. I was walking with a guy close to my home when a group of lads walked past us, and one of them lunged at him and punched him in the face." Read more...
Will: "I have encountered homophobia on a few occasions while living in Birmingham...In my local neighbourhood some male youths who loitered around the area next to my house would shout the words "Batty Boy" every time they saw me. I found this very intimidating." Read more...
Steve W: "My partner and I and my four children were living in a fair size house on one of the Northampton housing estates. Just a year earlier, I had appeared on national TV in an effort to help other gay dads, so my sexuality became all too apparent." Read more...
Paul J: "It was the summer of 2000, and a gang of about 5 local youths called me a "poofter" as I walked down the street. I asked them to repeat what they had said, and they replied, "You're a queer, aren't you?"." Read more...
Thomas R: "I was sitting on the top deck of the bus in Birmingham when I felt something hit the back of my head. A group of school kids had started throwing stuff at me. I turned around and asked them to stop but they grouped up and started to kick and punch me." Read more...
Richard L: "I had the questionable pleasure of being sent to a Catholic school run by monks. The official line was extremely homophobic, impressing upon me the extreme sinfulness, degradation etc of homosexuality." Read more...
Niki B: "A few years ago I was gay-bashed on the station concourse of Brighton Station. My friend and I had spent a usual day in Brighton, going to the beach, visiting some of the gay bars and pubs along the way." Read more...
Scott: "My partner and I moved from Leeds to Warrington five years ago, to be closer to my partner's job. We live in typical suburbia in a nice part of town, but that didn't stop the appalling welcome we got." Read more...
Adam: "My only experience of homophobia is comments and jokes by people who think they have never met a gay person and who have no concept that we are everywhere. They don't even realise we are possibly even just like them, in that we all have goals, ambitions, insecurities." Read more...
Wedge: "I'm very pleased to learn of your project; the reporting of hate crime is very important, and I know people don't report crimes because "nothing will be done". But that's the vicious circle: more will be done if the police and government have more statistics to back up the need to increase support." Read more...
Mike R: "Firstly, I wonder about the term "homophobia", and how many people are actually afraid of gay people. I wonder if heterosexism isn't a better word as I feel it is the basic premise that heterosexuality is normal whilst homosexuality/lesbianism is abnormal." Read more...
Nic: "Following an incident on our football supporters' bus last season which involved the singing of homophobic songs, our club committee (I'm the secretary) took action by including the following sentence in our club constitution..." Read more...
Andy M: "I am one of those fortunate members of the gay community to be greatly accepted as myself. Being 6'5", and of quite a "straight" appearance, nobody really questions anything. However, when I really gave this topic some thought, I realised that I had been quite affected by homophobia." Read more...
Anonymous: "When I was at college, there was an ignorant tutor. Quite young, but didn't know his job and thought nothing of using the word "faggot" in class to describe someone, which made everyone laugh. This left me feeling excluded." Read more...
Craig D: "In November 2004, I was verbally attacked in a local community club; it was not very nice when someone shouted "Gay Boy", because it out-ed me to other people that I had not told about my sexuality. Unfortunately, I did not see who said it." Read more...
John S Lewis: "Homophobia is something that l have experienced a great deal of. My partner Ray and I went through hell—it was commonplace to have comments shouted at us whenever we went out." Read more...
Robert M: "My friend and I were returning home from a nightclub in Brighton. We got a taxi to Hangleton. The taxi driver picked us up close to the gay area. From the conversation that my friend and I were having in the back of the car, he could tell we were gay." Read more...